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Behind the Song
This song started with the first line: “I can’t look into the mirror anymore.” The line popped into my head sometime last year and stuck with me.
So I asked myself: why would this character not want to look in the mirror? What can’t they bear to see?
I settled on someone who lost their love. Who feels at fault. Who is trying to let go, but can’t quite yet.
I imagine the song as a letter to the narrator’s lost love after he receives a courtesy Christmas card in the mail. In his letter, he tries to keep it casual, but his grief spills through.
Lyrics
I can't look into the mirror anymore
'cause I don't want to see
the one who let you go, who let you down
who set you yearning to be free
I guess I saw it coming, knew you had to go
but still I wish I could unsee
the look of ending reflecting in your eyes
without a spark of hope for me
How can I be without you?
I don't wanna be without you.
How can I be without you?
I don't wanna be without you.
I heard you went back to school, good for you
you always said that you wanted to
but now I wonder was I holding you down?
Or just a phase you had to get through?
How can I be without you?
I don't wanna be without you.
How can I be without you?
I don't wanna be without you.
It's okay, I will recover
it's okay, I'll find another
don't mind me, I'm just collapsing on the floor
picking up the pieces of the life we had before
I got a new job, it fits me fine
remember that coffee shop over on Fifth and Vine?
I got your Christmas card, it's hanging by the door
I've only read it through a hundred times or more
How can I be without you?
I don't wanna be without you.
How can I be without you?
I don't wanna be without you
without you by my side.
ScottStoriesandSongs 