Song: Starter Wife

I don’t think you’ll much like the guy singing this song. I don’t like him much either.

But I like to inhabit different characters in my songs. Sometimes they’re a version of me, sometimes they’re a version of the worst parts of me.

For this guy, people are just a means to an end.

Lyrics

Every man should get himself a starter wife
to keep the home fires burning as he starts in life.
And when he gets a brass ring shining on his hand
it's time to cut a check and plant his flag on greener land.

If you're not trading up
you're just sliding down.
You can be the king, boy, or
you're gonna be the clown.

I ain't nobody's fool
I can call 'em as they come
I don't need your Golden Rule
on this earth my will be done.
I'm loving how I'm living my best life--

And all because I started strong
with a starter wife.

Ever since I was a boy I was taught life is a test
to see which one comes out on top and looks down on the rest.
That's why I keep one eye out for the next best thing
as soon as I am satisfied I'm on to my next fling

If you're not trading up
you're just sliding down.
You can be the king, boy, or
you're gonna be the clown.

I ain't nobody's fool
I can call 'em as they come
I don't need your Golden Rule
on this earth my will be done.
I'm loving how I'm living my best life--

And all because I started strong
with a starter wife.

You may call me selfish
I call that sour grapes
You would do the same as me
if you had what it takes.
And I got what it takes.

I ain't nobody's fool
I can call 'em as they come
I don't need your Golden Rule
on this earth my will be done.
I'm loving how I'm living my best life--

And all because I started strong 
with a starter wife.
I set myself up for success
when I got a starter wife.
And you keep your eye on the road ahead
when you start with a starter wife.
So I hardly ever think of her
my discarded starter wife.